the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
