YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
