Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
