porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need water and some morals
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
