his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
