If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
