Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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