honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
