ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
