What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Couch. On fire.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
