i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
BRING THE BAGELS
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize