On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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