Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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