haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
