Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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