Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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