you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
