Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
