apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize