I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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