she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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