playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
