i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
