I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
