A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
