'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
