No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
