I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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