I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
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This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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