My underwear smells like fireworks.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize