I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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