no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
