Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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