Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have fence marks all over my body
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
