I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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