We won't sleep together?
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
