Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i out mim tonsoeep
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