I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
