She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
