I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
