everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
