she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
