I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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