How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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