Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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