And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
