Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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