And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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