this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
