So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
