you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
