so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
