I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
