I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
