I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
