We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
