Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
