My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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