yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
