I'm jealous of your bromance
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
